The Oakland Invasion Team
It takes a very special bunch of short bus riding, 24/7 football helmet wearing neanderthals to pull off the Oakland Invasion each year. Why do they do it? Is it for the fame? The wealth? The rockstar lifestyle? Probably not…. Based on their 2013 VH1 Where Are They Now episode, they are a bunch of ex child actors and stunt doubles who spend their days eating tri tip and menudo, and loudly reciting The Autumn Wind….. wearing nothing but an eye patch! Let’s meet this rag tag bunch of pre-school bullies….
That Guy Steve
Easily the dumbest guy in the entire bunch and sharing many Tommy Boy like personality traits, somehow That Guy Steve became the unelected and unappointed cult-like leader of the Oakland Invasion….. Looking to forever re-live his epic memories of college spring break and middle school football glory, That Guy Steve whipped up a batch of Silver & Black kool aid, put some samples of it out on the street, and told all the kids where they could come to find more…. Once everyone got hooked and promised to join him in his annual 400 mile crusade, That Guy Steve knew he’d found his own personal Utah, filled with bbq, music, football, and a judgement free place to make immediately regretful decisions……
The CIA Agent
One of the original founders of the tailgate, The CIA Agent is known to disappear on secret missions and not be heard of for weeks or months. Famous for his discovery of the infamous nocturnal Spider Monkey species, this tailgate pioneer helped design the first Oakland Invasion pop-up pisser, brought one of the first mobile DJ systems into the Oakland parking lot, and still gets teary eyed when he hears the magical voices of Norah Jones and Jackson Heights’ very own Randy Watson.
RallyTime
One of the most loved members of the original Oakland Invasion, RallyTime earned his moniker by annually raging to levels only witnessed in underground Russian Hedonist Parlors and at Charlie Sheen’s birthday parties….. But even after all of that “winning” and raging, like the mythical Phoenix he would rise up, exorcise a couple of demons, and then climb upon his chariot like Spartacus and RALLY!!!! RallyTime is an Oakland Invasion chef and has become an amazing cook, evident by the hundreds of dinner pictures he shares with his 8 Instagram followers….
C-Los
Joining the Oakland Invasion in Year 3, C-Los quickly joined the Avalanche club of IE Tailgaters and became a vital member of the 12 legged tri-pod… With his striking Napoleon Dynamite good looks, and his “great skills” in computer hacking, C-Los is the official key-holder of the Oakland Invasion online dating site….. C-Los’ great skills are so profound, he is known to have once done play by play commentary for the entire first half of a game….. with his eyes slammed shut!
Rubez
The resident instigator of the Oakland Invasion, Rubez is known for turning the tailgate from wholesome family fun to a den of high-fives and bad decisions. In 2010, he surgically had a double funnel beer bong stitched to his hand so that he’d never be far from the next party. Now a wise and sage tailgate elder, Rubez spends his time building his fortune peddling grandpappy’s hootch out of his white, unmarked, windowless cargo van……
Taco Mike
The youngest of the Oakland Invasion, Taco Mike spent his tailgate apprentice years as the do everything grunt of bunch…. Never one to complain, and never too drunk to operate large motor vehicles, we opened the books and Taco Mike became a made man in 2011. Living on his girlfriend’s couch since 2014, Taco Mike has been unable to keep steady work because he keeps ditching to go tailgate.